The Martinis - Hung Over

A fine pioneering entry in that great lost genre of vomit-lounge.

The Martinis - Hung Over (YouTube)

Mamie Perry - I'm Hurted

Now this old musty stanky 45 is some lowdown Creeps-style music. Mamie Perry has a great blues voice, but this "Gus Jenkins Orchestra" backing band is out of key with her and out of key with themselves. The slow spacious plodding style of the song, combined with the band's atonal ineptitude, gives the whole thing a sort of exotica feel. Is that a zither I hear in there? And UFO sounds? What?

"I'm hurted" sounds like something one of the Family Circus kids would say, doesn't it?

Mamie Perry - I'm Hurted (YouTube)

Jackie Riggs - His Gold Will Melt

Here's a real puzzler. Can't find out much about this guy except that some have called him a "doo-wop" or "Northern soul" artist. But this weirdo song sounds like Tony Bennett backed up by the freaky elves in Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.

Curiously, the intro is a dead-ringer for They Might Be Giants' "Lie Still Little Bottle", and it makes reference to having a TV set in every room long before the Monkees' "Pleasant Valley Sunday".

Jackie Riggs - His Gold Will Melt (YouTube)

Johnny Fever - Zombie

WTF is this? It's a work of beauty, but WTF is it? Too weird to be normal, yet too straight-ahead serious and groovin' to be dismissed as a novelty tune. Fantastic fuzztone soul, the likes of which doesn't pass through these woods too often. And the Gene Simmons-esque growled "YEAH!!" is the icing on the fairy cake.

Johnny Fever - Zombie

Jeffrey Scott Holland - Pig-Bristle Brush

It's guaranteed to make your hair stand straight up like one. Or your money back. Or maybe not. Oh, just click here.

The Kentuckians - Gone Fishin'

I got my pole and my bucket of worms
I'm gonna live on my own terms
I ain't puttin' up with none of your lip
I'm gonna fly-fish and eat tater chips

I'm gone fishin' in Berea and I might be gone for awhile.

Gone Fishin', Gone Fishin', Gone Fishin,
I'm gone fishin' in Berea and I might be gone for awhile.

I got my line and I got a hook
Come on and join me honey if you can cook
I'm a fisherman extraordinaire
Come with me to Owsley Fork with if you dare

I'm gone fishin' in Berea and I might be gone a long time.

Gone Fishin', Gone Fishin', Gone Fishin,
I'm gone fishin' in Berea and I might be gone for awhile.


The Kentuckians - Gone Fishin' (YouTube)

Surapon - Duang Jai

This is... well, it's... see, this guy is really.... uh... hmmm. I can't even begin. Just watch it. And watch the whole thing. And let us ask ourselves, could this possibly be the same man responsible for intergalactic novelty smash hit "Ding Dong"?

Surapon - Duang Jai (YouTube)

Grillo's Vanilla Extract Sorcerers - I Will Always Love You

Yes, why not invite Grillo the Clown to your next wedding?

(Not in person, mind you, that would be the mother of all bad ideas. I still have nightmares about the time I hired him to be "entertainment" at my art exhibition Clowns in Love in NYC in 2005.)

The Old Order of Transylvania Gentlemen have pledged a FREE CASE OF BEER to any couple who plays Grillo's charmingly radioactive rendition of Dolly Parton's "I Will Always Love You" at their wedding. Contact them for details!

Grillo's Vanilla Extract Sorcerers - I Will Always Love You (YouTube)

Retrovirus & Opportunistic Infection (RV&OI) - Pork Factory

Recorded inside a stinky old abandoned Fischer's meat plant in Louisville, RV&OI's "Pork Factory" is sure to follow in the footsteps of their previous Creeps classics like "Noctural Fridge Party", "Dry Stand Pipe", "Do Not Use Acid to Clean this Brick", and "This Table Smells Like Bleach". The lyrics are hard to suss out through the low fidelity, but it seems to start out this way:


I'm sweatin' like a stuck pig in a 'bandoned sausage factory.
I'm sweatin' in here, just OI and me, RV.
The paint's probably lead and it's peelin' off the walls from another century.
I'm spielin' and squealin' and playin' guitar and sweatin' like a stuck P-O-R-K pig.

P-O-R-K pig, P-O-R-K pig, P-O-R-K pig.

RV&OI - Pork Factory (YouTube)

The Smacks! - Backstage Pass (Rough Unfinished Mix)

The Smacks! have let leak an early unfinished recording from their long-awaited next album! The song is called "Backstage Pass", and we think it's their best work yet (although we're obviously biased). The song is now available on "Transylvania Colony", the official YouTube channel for the Old Order of Transylvania Gentlemen - take a listen...

The Smacks! - Backstage Pass (Rough Unfinished Mix) (YouTube)

Blind Willie McTell - Lay Some Flowers on my Grave

When you hear that coughing sound
You'll know McTell is in the ground
Hot mama, lay some flowers on my grave

Blind Willie McTell - Lay Some Flowers on my Grave (YouTube)

مقام رست ١ - محمد القبانجي

مقام الرست من اداء الاستاذ محمد القبنجي مع اعضاء الفرقه الموسيقيه العراقيه (يوسف بتو، صالح شميل، ابراهيم صالح، يهودا شماس، يوسف زعرور الصغير، عزوري هارون العواد) في مؤتمر القاهره الاول للموسيقى العربيه في مصر عام ١٩٣٢. الشعر تخميس للشاعر السيد جعفر الحلي النجفي (١٨٦١-١٨٩٨) لقصيدة العلاّمة السيد محمد سعيد الحبوبي (١٨٤٩-١٩١٦

يا يوسف الحسن فيك الصب قد ليما * و لو رأوك هَووا للأرض تعظيما
بمن حباك فنون الحسن تتميما * لُحْ كوكباً وامشِ غُصناً والتفتْ ريما
فإن عداك آسمُها لـم تَعْدُك السِّيمـا


Muhammad al-Qubbanchi - Maqam Rast, part 1 (YouTube)

Jim Jackson - I Heard the Voice of a Pork Chop

In a perfect world, this 1927 recording would be on every Waffle House jukebox, people would sing it instead of the national anthem at ball games, and muzak versions of it would play in elevators. The concept of a talking pork chop is surreal enough, but it gets better - this one's actually quoting Matthew 11:28.

Jim Jackson - I Heard the Voice of a Pork Chop (YouTube)

Lud Gluskin - Ice Cream

Some enterprising souls have posted a flotilla of Lud Gluskin records to YouTube, and here's one of our very favorites - the original source of the phrase "I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream," still uttered today by people who are clueless that its origin lies in this once-popular tune. Other versions were recorded by Harry Reser, Fred Waring, Chris Barber and there's also a piano roll of it done by one Alex Taylor.

(Not to mention the great scene in Down By Law with Roberto Benigni, Tom Waits, and John Lurie.)

Gluskin, born in Russia in 1898, recorded over 700 songs in the 1920s and 1930s. He went on to be the musical director for CBS television. He retired in the 1960s, after directing incidental musical scores for TV shows such as The Twilight Zone, Gunsmoke, and Perry Mason.

Lud Gluskin - Ice Cream (YouTube)

Ho Mei Fan - China Night

According to this site:

When I first arrived in Korea I was told the most popular song there was "China Night". This was a Japanese song that was picked up by the GI's on R&R and brought back to Korea. All you hear on this site is the melody. The words, in japanese sound like: "she has no yoyo". When I moved to Japan a year later it was still popular. I found this music on a Japanese site of old popular songs. It was titled as: "The Night of China" or in japanese: "Shina No Yoru". The japanese character for the letter "r" is pronounced not as we would but has a softer sound so the word "yoru" does sound a bit like yoyo.

The original provider of this track to the Internet Archive didn't know the vocalist, but a commenter on the post positively identified it as Ho Mei Fan and the Columbia Orchestra and also provided the lyrics:

Minato no akari murasaki no yo ni
Noboru Junk no yume no fune
Ah-ah wasurare nu kokyu no ne-e
Shina no yoru yume no koru

Shina no yoru Shina no yoru yo
Yanagi no madoni rantan yurete
Aka torikago Shina Musume
Ah-ah yarusenai-i ai no utah
Shina no yora yume no yoru

Shina no yoru Shina no yoru yo
Kimi matsu yoi wa obashima no ame ani
Hana mo chiru chiru beni mo chiru
Ah-ah wakarete mo wasuraryoh ka
Shina no yoru yume no yoru

Ho Mei Fan - China Night (mp3)

Vassar Girls Quartet - Kentucky Babe

Composed by Adam Geibel and Richard Henry Buck in 1896, this obscure tune was recorded by the Vassar Girls Quartet on an Edison Cylinder in 1907. To the novice ear, its melody may sound nebulous and impenetrably cornball - and, well, it really sort of is - but stay with it for the duration of the recording and see if its haunting ethereal tones don't reach you on some level. I can still hear it in my head hours after listening to it, and how often can you say that about a cylinder recording?

Vassar Girls Quartet - Kentucky Babe (mp3)

The New Orleans Owls - Meat On The Table

According to Wikipedia:

The New Orleans Owls (active 1922-29) were an early jazz band from New Orleans that descended from The Invincibles String band and recorded 18 sides for Gennett Records and 23 sides for Columbia Records from 1925 to 1927 on 78 rpm Gramophone record. They are reportedly the first group to record by the electric system operating from a mobile recording van. They played principally for the dancers in the ballroom of the Hotel Roosevelt (also Roosevelt Hotel) in New Orleans. Little is known about the members, which included Bill Padron (very much in the Paul Mares school) (ct), Benjie White (cl,as,leader), Lester Smith (ts), Mose Farrar (p), Rene Gelpi (bjo,g), Dan LeBlanc (tu), Earl Crumb (d), Frank Netto (tb), Pinky Vidacovitch (cl,as) and Sigfre Christensen (p).

The New Orleans Owls - Meat On The Table (mp3)

Seven Gallon Jug Band - Wipe 'em Off

One of Clarence Williams' many projects, the Seven Gallon Jug Band did this daffy ditty back in 1929 in New York City.

Seven Gallon Jug Band - Wipe 'em Off (mp3)

Ferdinand Himmelreich - "Lucia" Sextet

There's little information about Ferdinand Himmelreich online, although I did find something that mentions a "brief biography" of him in the October 1989 issue of In The Groove magazine.

Though Himmelreich is a mystery, the piece he chose for this recording is not. It's from the opera Lucia di Lammermoor by Gaetano Donizetti. Though the opera premiered on September 26, 1835 in Naples, it languished in relative obscurity until the 20th century, when Enrico Caruso recorded a popular version (in 1908), Walt Disney used it in his animated Make Mine Music! (in 1946), and Maria Callas instigated a full-scale revival of it (in 1952). Himmelreich's recording is from the 1920s.

The Three Stooges, or someone on their production team, must have loved the piece - it's used in two of their films (Micro-Phonies and Squareheads of the Round Table).


Ferdinand Himmelreich - Lucia Sextet (mp3)

Matson's Creole Serenaders - 'Taint Nobody's Biz-ness If I Do

According to Red Hot Jazz: "Charles A. Matson was an African-American pianist and arranger who was very active in New York during the mid-twenties. He accompanied various blues singers as a pianist, including Mamie Smith and Clara Smith. Besides these two songs on the Edison label his other records were released under the names of Matson's Lucky Seven which was recorded for the Paramount label in January of 1924 and Ted Claire's Snappy Bits Band for Gennett in January of 1923."

Matson's Creole Serenaders - 'Taint Nobody's Biz-ness If I Do (mp3)